My Unexpected Diagnosis
At the age of 45, I found myself grappling with a life-changing diagnosis: ADHD.
It was a revelation that came at a time when I was struggling to do the things I usually did.
I’d been questioning my sanity, if I was ill, and wondering if I was developing dementia.
I had left my job earlier that year and was working full-time in my business. I had worked so hard to change my life and was living the life I wanted, so why was everything falling apart?
The Journey to Discovery
The path to my diagnosis was not straightforward.
It began with sharing my struggles with close friends and noticing a pattern in the TikTok videos I was being shown about ADHD in women.
After some hyperfocus research and self-enquiry, I decided to get an ADHD assessment. The result? I was not only diagnosed with ADHD, but I was also in severe ADHD burnout and possibly Autistic.
Reflecting on the Past
Looking back, I can see how ADHD and a whole lot of sensory processing challenges have been a constant presence in my life.
The feeling of not fitting in, being called weird, sensitive, quirky, different, or that I laugh too loudly.
Struggling through school and university.
Misinterpreting my hyperactive racing mind and constant feelings of overwhelm as anxiety.
Constantly losing things, bumping into things, and never remembering people’s names.
The urge to do many things, different things, for change – but also craving security, safety, and stability.
And working so hard. I was known as ‘the girl who gets shit done’… which I thrived on for a time but was always followed by burnout.
The Impact of Living Undiagnosed & the Power of Understanding
Living life undiagnosed, masking to fit into the neurotypical world, working so hard, and unable to escape the burnout cycle, with the breaks between burnout getting shorter each time
I was left feeling like a shell of a human being.
I was exhausted.
Once I was diagnosed, I felt a lot of grief, anger, disappointment, and sadness for all the years I believed something was wrong with me.
I had spent years trying to ‘fix’ myself through counselling, psychologists, naturopaths, doctors, tests from specialists, and self-help books and classes, believing I couldn’t handle life like a ‘normal’ person.
Why had no one picked up on this?
On the other hand, my ADHD diagnosis was validating.
It has led me to understand the what, why, and how I do what I do.
By looking at life through a different lens, I’m exploring my neurodivergent self and permitting myself to do things differently.
It has opened a new world of possibilities and allowed me to do things in a way that works for me.
I’m discovering who I am. I love who I am. I feel happier.
And I feel so much more whole.
The Road Ahead
There is so much more to my story.
Navigating the medical and mental health systems, waiting lists, and other non-helpful things has been cumbersome and frustrating.
Successfully trialling ADHD medication and having to deal with medication shortages was confronting and triggered more trauma.
Sharing my news with friends, family members, colleagues, and the world, and the reactions – most positive, some invalidating or plain gaslighting, and a mall few disappointing.
Collecting other diagnoses along the way in the form of Complex PTSD, Raynaud syndrome, and the like. Today I call them the other pieces to my puzzle.
But building my support team of a great psychologist, psychiatrist, coach, mentor, GP, chiropractor and more, alongside the support I’ve received from friends, family, and my networks, has been a blessing.
And honestly, that’s why I am here doing what I do.
Let’s Connect
I hope hearing part of my story about my late diagnosis of ADHD will inspire you to be gentle with yourself and each other and to accept and celebrate your differences.
If you’re looking for an ADHD coach who understands your struggles firsthand, I’d love to connect.
My lived experience with ADHD, alongside my learning, professional experience and qualifications, has equipped me with a unique perspective and tools to help others navigate their own journeys.
Let’s explore the possibilities together and celebrate our neurodivergent selves.
Reach out to me, and let’s start this empowering journey together.
Janine
