Dealing with colleagues or other people who invalidate ADHD and other neurodivergences can be challenging, especially in the workplace.
It’s crucial to have strategies in place to maintain your confidence, boundaries, and well-being.
Here are some practical tips to help you handle these situations effectively.
1. Empower Yourself Through Self-Education and Confidence
Knowledge is Power
Educate yourself thoroughly about ADHD and neurodivergence.
The more you understand your condition, the more confidently you can address misconceptions.
Being well-informed enables you to respond to invalidating comments with authority.
Personal Affirmations
Develop strong personal affirmations and self-belief. Remember, your experience is valid, regardless of others’ opinions.
Trust in your own understanding of your neurodivergence and remind yourself that you know your needs best.
2. Master Communication Strategies
Pick Your Battles Wisely
Not every situation requires a defence or explanation of your neurodivergence.
Choose when and with whom to discuss ADHD, Autism, or other conditions carefully. It’s okay to protect your energy by opting out of unnecessary explanations.
Simple Explanations
Equip yourself with clear, concise explanations about ADHD.
For example, you might say, “ADHD affects my ability to focus and manage time. It’s a real neurodevelopmental condition.”
These simple statements can help educate others without draining your energy.
Set and Maintain Firm Boundaries
Practice Boundary Setting
Establish boundaries about what you share and how you respond to invalidating comments.
You might use phrases like, “I prefer not to discuss this at work,” to protect your mental space.
Develop Exit Strategies
Have a few graceful exit strategies ready for conversations that become uncomfortable.
A simple “I need to focus on my work now” can allow you to disengage politely and maintain your boundaries.
4. Seek Allies and Build Support Networks
Find Supportive Colleagues
Identify colleagues who are more understanding or supportive of neurodivergence.
Building relationships with these individuals can create a more positive work environment.
External Support
Look for support outside of the workplace, such as online forums, ADHD support groups, or trusted friends and family.
You could even work with an ADHD Coach or an external Mentor.
Having a safe space to share your experiences can be incredibly validating.
5. Manage the Emotional Impact
Build Emotional Resilience
Work on strategies to build emotional resilience, such as mindfulness practices, journaling, or speaking with a psychologist.
These tools can help you cope with the emotional impact of invalidation.
Prioritise Self-Care
Regular self-care is essential for managing stress and maintaining mental well-being.
Whether it’s a hobby, exercise, or relaxation techniques, ensure you’re taking time for yourself.
6. Document and Seek Professional Support
Document Negative Interactions
If you encounter particularly negative or discriminatory interactions, keep a record. Documentation can be useful if you need to address the issue with higher-ups or seek legal advice.
Consider Professional Support
If necessary, seek professional support, such as from your workplace Employee Assistance Program (EAP)—if they have one—a psychologist or ADHD coach to help you navigate these challenges and advocate for yourself in the workplace.
7. Plan for the Future
Career Goals and Development
Continue discussing your career goals and consider how you can navigate your current workplace while planning for a more supportive environment.
Keep seeking professional development opportunities that align with your needs and aspirations.
Sample Responses to Invalidation
Having simple, prepared responses can make it easier to handle invalidation. Here are a few examples:
- “ADHD is a condition that affects my attention and focus. It’s something I manage daily.”
- “Neurodivergence means that my brain works differently, affecting how I process information and handle tasks.”
- “Neurodivergence isn’t something I can control completely; it’s a part of how my brain works.”
- “Taking short breaks helps me reset my focus, which is important for managing my ADHD.”
- “ADHD isn’t just about being hyperactive; it also affects how I manage time and process information.”
How to Exit Conversations Calmly
Sometimes, it’s best to simply step away from a conversation.
Here are some ways to do so politely:
Direct and Polite:
- “I appreciate your interest, but I need to get back to work now.”
- “Thanks for the chat. I need to focus on my tasks now.”
Redirecting:
- “I think it’s best to keep this conversation focused on work. Let’s discuss something else.”
- “I’d prefer to talk about this later. Right now, I have to finish my work.”
Using Time as an Excuse:
- “I have a deadline to meet, so I need to get back to it.”
- “I have some tasks that need my attention right now. Let’s catch up later.”
Expressing Boundaries:
- “I find this topic a bit personal, and I’d rather not discuss it at work.”
- “This is important to me, but I prefer not to talk about it here. Thanks for understanding.”
Positive Affirmation
- “It’s great talking with you, but I have to get back to my tasks. Let’s chat later.”
- “I appreciate your understanding, but I need to focus now. Have a great day!”
Conclusion
Navigating the challenges of working with ADHD or other neurodivergences can be tough, especially when faced with invalidation.
By arming yourself with knowledge, communication strategies, and supportive networks, you can confidently manage these situations and thrive in your workplace.
Remember, your experience is valid, and there are tools and resources available to help you navigate these challenges.
